Conversations with the Marauders, Lily and Kittius
by Nacasara
Summary: I wrote the first chapter on a car trip to Leavenworth. Its like they are passing notes to one another during their classes. *chapter2* Kittius has a mental breakdown and cusses. Alot. Like enough to make a sailor cry.
1. Muggle Studies

Sir Padfoot, Lord of all things Pimpish and Canine, Sovereign of Hair gel, Ruler of tight leather pants would like you to know that he thinks his name is too long.  
  
Lady Kittius, Queen of all things short &scraggly, Duchess of late bloomers and Crusader of abnormally large feet, Agrees and would like to comment that the person formally known as Sirius Black has hair that is the same way.  
  
King James the Regale , King of all things sexy, handsome and hot, Lord of Qudditch, Would like to ask the Lady Kittius and Sir Padfoot if how brightly these light bulbs glow is a personal reflection on us as students?  
  
Sir Padfoot, Lord of all things Pimpish and Canine, Sovereign of Hair gel, Ruler of tight leather pants would like to tell Lady Kittius to stick her abnormally large crusading feet into her big mouth, and ask King James if he can be a sexy King too?  
  
King James the Regale, King of all things sexy, handsome and hot, Lord of Qudditch, would like to tell Sir Padfoot that he cant. Just because.  
  
Lady Kittius, Queen of all things short &scraggly, Duchess of late bloomers and Crusader of abnormally large feet, would like to tell Sir PadFart to screw that light bulb into his enormous ears while screwing hisself and boiling his head, and then would like to acknowledge King James by adding that she hopes it isn't, for hers keeps flickering on and off.  
  
King James the Regale, King of all things sexy, handsome and hot, Lord of Qudditch, would like to remind Lady Kittius that it would be hard for Sir Padfoot to screw himself, for he is always so busy screwing that blonde Hufflepuff. Sir Padfoot, Lord of all things Pimpish and Canine, Sovereign of Hair gel, Ruler of tight leather pants would like to tell Lady Kittius to stop humping the desk for it is making him nauseous and add that he thinks it might be a self reflection, and will now giddily remind her that he got an A+ on that Potions test that she failed and his light bulb is burning brightly!  
  
Lady Kittius, Queen of all things short &scraggly, Duchess of late bloomers and Crusader of abnormally large feet would like to inform Sir Padfoot that she is, infact, NOT humping her desk and will add that maybe he ought to get his eyes checked- and perhaps his dick.  
  
King James, who does not wish to write out all his honors, would like to pat Lady Kittius on the back for successfully managing that dismembering spell!  
  
Sir Padfoot, who would like to follow King James in not writing out his full name, is demanding that Lady Kittius changes them back. NOW!  
  
Lady Kittius, who is an ugly person, thus stated by the nature of her honors, would like to thank King James, and add to Sir Padfoot that she will NOT!!!  
  
King James, would like to tell Lady Kittius that it is in her best interests to return Sir Padfoots member and will now elaborate that the blonde Hufflepuff punches hard and she wouldn't like to disappoint her.  
  
Lady Kittius reluctantly agrees and will now return Sir Padfoot's balls in order to keep her beak in its perfect shape.  
  
Sir Padfoot would now like to ask Lady Kittius to keep going. King James would like to comment that it is probably big enough already and add that the Lunch bell is ringing.  
  
Lady Kittius hopes that it is roast beef and will now be reminding Sir Padfoot that he barrowed her quill and she wants it back, NOW! 


	2. Divination

Emperor Peter, Lord over all things small and rodent like, Duke of blonde haired people, and Baron of Tag-a-longs has a feeling that it is going to be very foggy tonight  
  
  
  
Queen Lily agrees with Emperor Peter  
  
  
  
Lady Kittius, Queen of all things short &scraggly, Duchess of late bloomers and Crusader of abnormally large feet wants to know why Queen Lily has a short name and she doesn't!?  
  
  
  
King James the Regale, King of all things sexy, handsome and hot, Lord of Qudditch, agrees with Emperor Peter and will acknowledge Lady Kittius by saying that Queen Lily is specialer.  
  
  
  
Lady Kittius will now take this opportuneity to tell King James to fuck off.  
  
  
  
Caesar Remus, Howler of full moons, King Of Biting, Licker of Matted Fur, would like to shame Lady Kittius for her foul language!  
  
  
  
Sir Padfoot, Lord of all things Pimpish and Canine, Sovereign of Hair gel, Ruler of tight leather pants, rubs his fingers together and says 'tut tut!'  
  
  
  
Lady Kittius would like to tell the 2 of them to fuck off and add that Sir Padfoots dick will b dissapperatring again if he doesn't keep his nasty commends about Lady Kittius to hisself.  
  
  
  
Queen Lily wants to know if 'hisself' is really a word?  
  
  
  
Caesar Remus says it isn't.  
  
  
  
Lady Kittius wants them to stop making fun of her pour Inglizh!!!!! : . . . . . . . . . . (  
  
  
  
Sir Padfoot says 'poor English!!!!!' and sticks his tongue out at Lady Kittius  
  
  
  
Lady Kittius will now quote herself: "fuck off!"  
  
  
  
Emperor Peter says "TUPAWEAR!!!"  
  
  
  
Queen Lily ignores Emperor Peter and tells Lady Kittius to watch her language because there are immature ears in this forum.  
  
  
  
Caesar Remus tells everyone to stop fighting and wants to know if Queen Lily meant him when she said 'immature ears'?  
  
King James wants to know why everyone else isn't passing him the paper?  
  
Lady Kittius has been suddenly overcome by a feeling of guilt, and offers them all a peace hug  
  
Sir Padfoot tells Lady Kittius that's its alright and pats her on the back.  
  
Lady Kittius pulls the 'Kick Me, I'm A Muggle' sign that Sir Padfoot put on her back off, but doesn't say anything mean to him, in fear of Caesar Remus.  
  
Caesar Remus says she should be.  
  
Queen Lily tells Lady Kittius it's okay  
  
King James would like to follow Queen Lily in saying such.  
  
Emperor Peter would like to remind everyone that it is now lunch time AND HE IS HUNGRY!  
  
Lady Kittius tells Emperor Peter to shut his trap- they're coming!  
  
FINE 


End file.
